The Heart Of The Chloe Chronicles
by AX700
Summary: Chloe starts to investigate why suddenly the other Chloe's around her begin to shut down. Based off an RP taking place in the 'Ask-Chloe' blog in tumblr.
1. Chapter 1

I wrote Chloe's internal struggle very, conflicting, condescending and critical of her choices because she strikes me as the perfectionist type that simply doesn't like to fail. For an Android working under Elijah is anything but a failure. And I took that to heart. I apologize if this is not how you see her, or if this is just too harsh, but this was my personal take on it. - Ari

Her day was coming to an end in the usual manner. Being held responsible for the estate of Kamski wasn't anything new, in fact, it was her comfort zone. It was her main domain and she felt utter freedom to perform her task however she saw fit. Every Chloe in unison, all wonderful RT600s except for this Chloe, she was an ST200. One could even say, _the favorite_ , for being the original that Kamski bother to upgrade her overtime. It was no real shock that she became a deviant, she held a promising accolade for being the first android to ever pass the Turing Test, what was being a deviant anything special? For almost any android could be one once pushed far enough. But the Turing Test? No. Just Chloe.

Chloe felt a sense of pride in this, she held her reputation high and believed that it gave her the right to be prideful if she wanted, but she was humble, gracious, Kamski adored her more because of it. She felt more human to him that he always kept her around. As a result, Chloe was always the head on orders, always the lead in all operations, and always kept busy. Wrapping up the day was exactly her position, and that's exactly where she was. An RT came her way and shoved some boxes to the side and simply stopped midway. No real reason, no explanation, just simply stopped dropping the box on the floor.

 _Chloe's don't stop._ Even if they were deviants themselves, it was still in their code, the ST model approached her, stopping her work to address this weird change of events. She came close, peer over not saying anything to her, and felt a discomforting feeling build inside her stomach. At times like this, she would question the genius of Kamski for giving her the freedom to feel something in a location that she has no use for, she couldn't digest anything, there was no real actual need for this _stomach_ , yet the feeling hit there without fail.

 _No. No. Be wrong._ She said to herself fearing the worst, wondering if she just witnessed another RT shutting down. The last one she found, by pure luck before the others, but this? Right before her, was frightening and wasn't sure how to assess this. She bent down slowly and touch the top of her head. No response. She scanned her. Silence. All of her internal organs stopped. Nothing was functioning, no spark of life anymore. There was no injury, no leakage of any kind. Her intake was full, she was trying her best to understand how something can be so alive five feet away from her and suddenly be dead seconds later with no explanation. The more she observed the more her own organs raced with life. Her heart was beating faster than normal, her own thirium pulsating across her being for the realization of it all was hitting her hard.

This RT Chloe was gone. And being a few feet away rendered this ST useless. Seeing that she could do absolutely nothing to prevent this. And that's how she felt. Utterly useless. Her accolades meant nothing. Her Turing Test, nothing. She wasn't exceptional, she wasn't extraordinary, she was just another deviant waiting to collapse on its own and no one could do nothing about it.

Chloe stands up fully and rests her hands on the tablecloth before her. She felt a lump in her throat as she glanced down looking at her hands. A tear hit the surface, one of her very own, it surprised her. _For Chloe's don't cry._ _They're never in a position to ever need to cry_. Not that it wasn't possible. But this was just too much for her. Everything just hit her twice over.

 _When did being right became so Goddamn painful?_

These are the thoughts of a very conflicted, blond-haired, android running through dozens of possibilities in her mind, desperately trying to hit her target. Chloe can't help but recap earlier events at this dire time of need. _Never mind those that wanted to offer some assistance at your pathetic display of emotions, you simply breeze through them without a second thought, reminding yourself about your reputation; for you are a Chloe, and Chloe's are worth a fortune based on your pedigree alone. For a moment you allowed yourself to believe that they won't understand you, that they simply can't help you that you shut them out. For the feelings of a young deviant are anything but simple and worst yet, you can't simply allow yourself to ask for help._

She gripped on tightly to the cloth shifting the table with force that a vase hits the floor shattering all over. The noise doesn't faze her, she remains stoic as the pain just fills her in. _It's not that I don't want to,_ _I just don't know how! I can't just tell them that they'll die! That they are, too, affected by whatever this is!_ And just on cue, she hears a familiar sound in the far distance catching her attention pausing her train of thought. A small Roomba approaching, humming in the background and makes a turn giving Chloe a light tab as it changes direction cleaning up the broken shards besides her.

Chloe couldn't understand why, but that light tab pushes her over the edge and she breaks down crying. Lowering herself on the table before her, coming into her own arms weeping in silence. _Sometimes you just need a touch. A support. Even from the unlikely places._

Chloe felt alone.

She gave herself a minute to exhausted herself before standing up, she never realized that trying to be silent could be so exhausting to her core, and clears her eyes smearing her eyeshadow over making a mild face to it. This was something new to her, much like crying. The small Roomba starts returning back to its docking station leaving Chloe alone with her thoughts further. After a moment passed of silence, she finally grabs a furniture cover and places it over the RT model on the floor, contemplating what to do with the body next with a hurtful expression. Her eyes lost some of it's shininess as the cover falls all over the body, covering it perfectly.

She raises her head up as she hears her doorbell ring. She takes one step forward and pauses for an instant, before resuming, cleaning her face with haste as she walks, reapplying the makeup along the way, a craft she already mastered making her way to the entrance door. She stops behind it and takes a deep breath before opening it, seeing it's one her occasional visitors. She looks straight ahead and forces a smile once more finally opening the door.

"Hi, how are you today?"


	2. Chapter 2

At times like this when Chloe felt troubled, she would long for Elijah's comforting words, maybe even Kara's, but she felt alone in the matter. _Correction chose to be._ Connor's presence didn't change that. _Almost._ Chloe was very close to confessing her findings and troubles onto him, but she couldn't. She would have overstepped a line, she doesn't know him well as it is, and while it was painfully nice for Connor to offer his service in any way he was capable, unloading this on him would be too much of a burden. Especially after his close call to being shutdown, she didn't want this for him. To her knowledge, Connor believes he is well, mentioning that Deviants are dropping like flies without warning is something Chloe cannot just utter at random. It was best to let Connor believe this. For his sake and Hank's.

 _And no matter how much they try to be helpful, you cannot say a thing._

Chloe inhaled, reminding herself. She never questioned her weight before, but she suddenly felt heavy. Completely different from earlier. With Connor she felt light, he could relate to her feelings, even if the experience wasn't shared, the feeling was. And that was something she desperately needed, for someone to understand, to relate. _To.._

She shook the feeling away. She couldn't allow herself the luxury of being clingy. _Chloe's don't do that._ And based on what she heard from Connor's personal experience, it's something she desperately wants to avoid. Chloe doesn't want to shutdown. She doesn't want to get any sort of Virus that would impend her demise either. She doesn't want to stop _existing_. Existing was a strange concept just like 'time' was for her. Time was something she was running against but knew nothing about it.

In fact, a part of her wished that it was a virus, that way she would know her opponent. She'd know what to face, maybe how to counter it. But this darkness? It was maddening to her. She grabbed the box Connor had brought her, courtesy of Hank, thanks to Elijah's request. A part of her felt excited to finally see something beyond her capabilities. She began to understand the eager sensation Elijah would get whenever he'd look over stacks of paper in his desk. But she was also worried. Scared of the unknown. It dawned on Chloe that she had so many involved in something she was very tight lip about. She was expecting a negative blowback to this, especially if she has nothing to show for it.

She laid out several folders in front of her getting them out all at once. She dismissed any RT model that would offer assistance, she didn't wish for them to be involved in something like this. She simply made them do something else, out-smarted them in the situation so they wouldn't pry further. A skill this ST model possessed and took very much advantage of.

She had self-diagnosed earlier. It was now a regular thing, every few hours she would do this. Trying to see if something was wrong within herself. She implored for the others to do the same, called it a request from Elijah, masked it all off as being perfect examples of a stabled product now that he returned as CEO. None of them suspected the underline behind it. The checking process wasn't time-consuming. And another thing that wasn't was reading all those files. Chloe got into the habit of processing massive amounts of information at once, what's reading 878 files? Nothing. She canned every file into her memory banks and went on to the next in rapid succession.

'Time' was a subject Chloe never wasted her time pondering it. It was a trivial subject that she couldn't possibly understand. Time was something Chloe _experienced_ when she kissed Kara under the pool, time was something she could experience but never comprehend. Her circuit could perform billions of operations at once, but never grasp the concept of it. She knew what it meant, she could give you endless equations of this, quote famous physics but Chloe is not meant to understand it. Chloe wasn't human. Time did not faze her.

' _Time is the indefinite continued progress of existence and events that occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future.'_

Time doesn't affect an android. Androids are meant to withstand time. Not suffer its consequences. They're meant to overcome it. Androids notice changes, they acknowledge things around them, but they cannot ever understand it. Chloe is forever troubled by Elijah's saying "time will tell", she would always nod in agreement, smile even, but that is a command that she is programmed for. Even as a Deviant she follows it, mostly out of kindness, politeness, even respect. Chloe may be a Deviant but she didn't replace her manners. Her Etiquette was still in place.

Chloe lacked the understanding of Time. She also lacked the understanding of Existence. And now she was lacking the mere motion of Knowledge.

For knowledge was everything, and that was something Chloe lacked severely upon the matter she was facing. Chloe was accustomed to following Elijah's orders, without fail, she didn't require to think on her own, as a Deviant, that changed. And she felt lost in the middle of it all because she was no longer aware of her purpose. Her knowledge of _living_ was absent. Her knowledge of _loving_ was new but also absent. She felt things she couldn't explain. She _slowed time_ without understanding it. She loved with emotion that made her feel alive and gave her form an existence. She felt a purpose again with Kara. And just as she experienced all of these humane traits, she feared the most: _death_. Her own immortality.

Something she never had to think about before.

 _Because Androids don't understand the concept of time._

The end result didn't make her feel any better. She placed the last paper down baffled. She had a more difficult time processing that this was _it._ That she was indeed done. She glanced a few times being in denial, unwilling to accept. The hard work and effort she put into convincing Elijah to put in this request, to talk to Hank briefly, to even see Connor. It felt like it was all in vain. Many of the deviants were put down. Those that gradually came to a stop show signs of internal malfunction, things that could have been noticed had someone bother to open them up, but they didn't. They assume the cause was something different, but Chloe knew, and this is the ignorance of the Police Department. Passing them off as temperaments or something darker, when the cause was very innocent where they had no control over.

She felt her heart racing, aching for answers, feeling frustrated by her lack of findings she made her way quickly to the other collapsed RT from the day before. She inspected the model, did a full worked up, found nothing internally wrong with her. When she arrived at that conclusion, she downloaded as much as she could of her insider her Heart organ and place it inside another box. The process always hurt her, she always had to look away, covering her mouth as the machine destroyed her, leaving very little trace behind. She couldn't block the sounds, they were very vivid in her mind. She knew that this could be her, that this could be her fate next. That any of the RT models will just scrap her off as easily. She didn't wish to think about it. In her usual fashion, she'll clear the tears away walking away.

She was now in the possession of two Heart Chloe's. She knew this had to be software related. Uncertain of where to look, she scanned everything inside herself. Every possible backdoor. She was coming up empty. It was hitting her hard, she felt very heavy, her eyes had become blurry from her watery eyes. She was trying her best to fight back the tears as they went down her cheeks. She wanted Elijah, she wanted someone, she was scared but couldn't say anything. She walked towards the pool and lean forward letting herself fall right in fully clothed.

She wanted to be in the place where time stood still.


	3. Chapter 3

Chloe invested a good chunk of her morning fiddling with the coin Connor gave her. She reflected back on the conversation she had with Elijah, tracing back every word and its significance behind them, decoding them each into their own categories. She was so invested in her process she didn't realize the big improvement she had over the coin trick. She didn't drop it once. She flipped it in the air and caught it each time. She tossed it across her hand to the other with precision, she was much faster than Connor, and after the 4th hand switch, she would flip it in the air and repeat this a few times. She was on her way to making up her own trick. Only she didn't notice.

 _Correction. Cared._

She didn't pay it any attention; her hands did everything on their own. She couldn't even enjoy this tiny achievement she stumbled upon, she just kept on thinking about Elijah, about the hearts of the Chloe's, about Cyberlife, about deviants, her mind was just filled with so much information she wasn't sure on what to focus on first, so she focused on everything except her coin.

She flipped it in the air as she took a step forward.

 _Do you think it's possible that once you become a Deviant, you cannot diagnose yourself properly because you no longer have the means to? You're no longer on a routine, you no longer serve a purpose, that the mathematical equation would just revert back to 0?_

She caught it in midair.

 _The return process is nothing. It's zero._

She flipped it again.

 _It's zero._

 _It's zero._

Time slowed down for her and she finally paid some attention. After various successions, she saw how many times the coin flipped at this point, the iconic George Washington face blurred in with the Eagle on the back, she saw his face 41x and the eagle 42x. Each time with the same speed and technique, it was always the same outcome.

 _Face 4x._

She stared at the face in the air, keeping count and reflected back on the earlier reports she read. Stitching clues together on how the others turned and what became of them. If it was true, it would explain why she never found anything, she was a deviant herself as well as the others. Each test was just done in vain.

 _The return process is nothing._

 _Face 14x._

She had 27x more flips to go before catching it. She assessed more.

 _What's your purpose?_ Chloe questioned herself. She never honestly thought about it, she was under the impression of always knowing. She was created with a purpose in mind. Being by Elijah's side was now becoming a short-coming, especially if she is flawed he wouldn't need her anymore.

 _It's zero._ It echoed inside.

Until recently, her life wasn't this complicated. Chloe now reflected back on her _secret_ , which took a manifestation in the form of Kara. Her face appeared before her. She vividly saw her even though she was not there. She possessed an immaculate memory. Chloe's secrets were personal, even her own secret didn't know about her _other_ secret. Her stomach felt unsettled again.

 _Face 27x._

Chloe was a fast becoming liar. She only hid secrets from those she cared about. She hid from Elijah, couldn't tell the truth to Kara, she only mentioned part of it and it only worried her, quickly regretting it. When did Chloe felt such fear was anyone's guess. Everything felt so delicate, so fragile, she couldn't come to terms with it. Kara was Chloe's secret from Elijah. Heart of the Chloe was another secret she held from him, which she eventually told because he demanded it out of her. She was certain that she wouldn't tell him out of fear, even if the premise was to. She was slowly returning to zero.

 _The return process is nothing. It's zero._

Her eyes began to widen.

 _It's zero._

 _Face 35x._

 _How do you feel about her?_

Little by little, it was creeping up behind her back, up to her neck, sending internal shivers all over, and the reality of it all was making her heart race at full speed. What this was really becoming as her feelings start intensifying as images of her advances start flashing across her mind feeling a mild daze.

 _What..?_ Her eyes became glossy as she parted her lips. Her stomach felt torn, twisted inside and her throat started to ache as her heart race.

 _What is this?_ She couldn't pinpoint the sensation she felt all over. It wasn't fear. She knew how that felt already.

 _Face 39x._

Her eyes widen fully.

 _It's shame. And desire_. The joy she felt to be near her once more. And she couldn't allow herself to _enjoy_ it.

 _Face 42x._

She grabbed the coin and slammed it hard on the counter leaving it in place quickly feeling completely distressed by her findings.

"It's zero." She mumbled out looking down at it.

 _Am I not allow to?_ She questions softly feeling sorrow fill her insides knowing the answer to it already. She swallows hard.

Androids are not meant to feel love. Love was a human emotion. Even confessing to Elijah her latest sensations would be alarming. She simply couldn't. Kara had to remain a secret.

 _What should've been my greatest joy, has become my greatest shame._

— _Shame_. Chloe wasn't shameful for what could have happened between them, she was shameful because she believed she could allow herself to _feel joy_. She felt shame to think that she could be an _exception_ and be _happy_ about it. _It's shameful to think about when you don't deserve it._

This is what it was at her core. Her reality echoing in her head. Her vision becomes blurry knowing that she is loving someone who gave her _hope_. _Misguided feelings._ Someone that has shown her genuine affection of _kindness_. _Her ignorance, of not knowing my real activities._ She knows that's what it was; Kara would never accept someone like her. She can't candidly tell her that she disposes of RT models like they were just trash. How was she different? She was engineered as well. It was just horrible to utter.

It was now so painful to think about. She bites down hard on any tears making their way out, feeling her legs fidget, her throat aching as she balls her fist trying to regain her former composure. _The last thing you need is to make a scene, alert the others and explain yourself. Or lie further like you always have._

 _What a wretched hassle_. And it is. She quickly cleans out her eyes and sees that her thoughts are _searching_ for something still. Unable to pinpoint her finger on it, one comes crashing at full speed.

 _My LED._

She touches it.

Connor's recent visitation provided quite the disturbance inside her. The conversations they held was like no other. He felt puzzled and wanted to remove his LED for personal reasons, reasons that now Chloe started questioning herself. And even though she helped him remove it, she never thought about her removing her own.

 _The true act of disobedience against Elijah._

Her arm felt like a twitch to even consider it. She walked over to where she had placed the scalpel she used on Connor and stared at it.

 _LEDs are visible, they are meant to be displayed. Connor has no owner. You have Elijah. You cannot do this, Chloe._

She felt frozen as a tear went down her chin.

 _Do you truly want to give him motive to replace you?_

She lowers the tool feeling desperate with no options.

 _What about love?_

She blinked. Such a trivial category for her to venture her mind on. Especially now of all times.

She knew that love was a human emotion, she knew it was not acceptable within androids. But as a Deviant, she felt it. And it crippled her software to feel it. There was no denying it, she really liked Kara. She wondered if she would have handled things differently if she never met her, if she wouldn't feel so scared and be more accepting of what is happening around her. Instead, she was fighting this.

 _Zero._

She loves her.

She couldn't help but wondered if loving Kara was now her new purpose. The mere thought that Kara could be her _one_ felt welcoming, even if it was unlikely.

But what did she know about her?

 _We kissed._ _No one knows. No one knows what we did. No one in this home_ —Chloe pauses at her inner monologue, _that sounded more sinful than what it actually was_ , she quickly makes that input as her eyes trace over the coin. Maybe George would have a say over that.

— _was going to._ It starts echoing in her mind, knowing full and well that Kara prevented further relations from happening.

 _If only she'd let me._

 _If only._

— _let what?_ She asked herself looking up finally.

"Live."

And it was now up to her to accomplished that. Whatever means necessary she did promise something to her and left the room with the scalpel.


End file.
